Hi Friends,
Like Alexander, last Monday I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I was still riding the high of being told by Dr. Thomas that my cancer was “stable and improved,” when a local doctor I was seeing for an unrelated matter (who had never even heard of a PEF ablation) looked at my recent PET scan and said, “No, you’re not improved. You’re worse. Your cancer has grown and spread.”
Two doctors. Two completely opposite interpretations.
So who do I believe?
Dr. Myall, my oncologist at Stanford, believes the truth may be somewhere in the middle, but without first speaking with Dr. Thomas (who has inconveniently been on vacation all week) and consulting with the interventional pulmonologists at Stanford who also perform PEF ablations, he couldn’t give me a definitive answer.
Let me tell you something: the only thing worse than being diagnosed with cancer is being told your cancer has gotten worse.
I went from elated to devastated in record time. I cried. A lot.
And because one disaster apparently wasn’t enough for the day, I also developed a pleural effusion that turned into pleurisy — an inflammation of the lining of the lung that makes breathing painful.
So yes… I had a very, very bad day.
But when I woke up Tuesday, I made a conscious decision not to have another one.
Especially since I didn’t even have all the facts yet.
So instead, I looked for joy where I could find it.
I played with my pups.
I took my improv comedy class.
I baked my new favorite cookies.
Worry is like paying interest in advance on a debt you may never owe. Trust me — I’ve gone bankrupt doing it.
If you truly can’t do anything about it now, why waste your precious time worrying about it?
As a lifelong worrier, I know that’s easier said than done. But over the past two years, I’ve been working with Dr. Matt Lederman on my anxiety, and I’ve made tremendous strides.
He has also been my Cancer Concierge Doctor, helping me navigate decisions, speaking with my oncologists, and even attending appointments with me. Learn more about this incredible service here.
So please don’t let the fear of tomorrow rob you of the joy of today.
Because in the immortal words of Scarlett O’Hara:
“After all… tomorrow is another day.”
And that, my friends, may be the greatest line in cinematic history.
Love & A Whole Lotta Tomorrows,
💜 Chef AJ
🐾 🦴 From the Puppy Files
Shiloh and Trixie have become completely inseparable. They always need to be touching, and despite having their own beds, they’ve decided one bed is more romantic.
In a previous newsletter, I joked that Shiloh came to us as a hobo. Our dear friend Lee created this adorable digital illustration based on that story.
