Hi Friends,
Before I get to the topic of the day—perfectionism—I wanted to give you a brief update on my health.
I’m still as confused as ever and, frankly, beginning to feel somewhat depressed. My pleurisy hasn’t resolved and I still haven’t been able to connect with Dr. Thomas (who did my ablation) for several weeks, and Dr. Myall (my oncologist at Stanford) hasn’t been able to reach him either.
Dr. Myall called me on Friday at 5:22 PM to tell me he spoke with an interventional pulmonologist at Stanford who also thinks I may be worse—and advised against a second ablation with the new and more powerful machine.
He also said I need another biopsy to determine whether the tumor growth is true progression or, as Dr. Thomas believes, simply inflammation from the January ablation.
What I find most upsetting is that a doctor would call with news like that on a Friday evening… when there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it over the weekend.
Something similar happened three years ago when I was first diagnosed with lung cancer—it was done with a message dropped into my online medical chart early on a Saturday morning.
Sadly, the days of personalized medicine—of your doctor really being there—feel like a thing of the past.
My ability to tolerate uncertainty is constantly being tested… and I feel like I’m failing.
But here’s an area of my life where I am making progress.
I recently had the pleasure of reconnecting with my friend and colleague, Dr. Wayne Dysinger.
Dr. Dysinger was my doctor when I lived in the desert, a past President of the American College of Lifestyle Medicine, and one of the physicians who helped advance lifestyle medicine at Loma Linda University.
We met on Zoom for a lovely reunion, and he asked me how I was—in my own words.
And the first thing out of my mouth was:
“I am no longer SOS-free.”
To which he replied:
“That’s good… because rigidity impairs healing.”
Mind. Blown.
(Watch the moment I admit “I’m no longer SOS-free” here → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGXZ4S4tm7s&t=3012s)
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that ever since.
I’ve asked him to come on my show to explain this concept, because many in our community believe that a “perfect diet” can prevent and reverse any disease.
As much as I wish that were true… it simply isn’t.
When I first went public with my diagnosis, hundreds of well-meaning people wrote to me telling me to be stricter.
But I had already been vegan for 45 years and followed a “Goldhamer perfect A+ diet” for 15 years before my diagnosis.
So how much stricter could I be?
I tried water fasting, juicing, green smoothies, and all the recommended supplements…
And my tumor kept growing.
I want to emphasize:
If what you’re doing is working for you, please keep doing it.
There is no need to change a thing—especially if you’re experiencing joy along with the many benefits of a plant-based diet.
Since day one, I’ve always said:
“Do the least restrictive plan you can that still gives you the results you seek.”
But is stricter always better?
Is dietary perfectionism really the key to a long, healthy, happy life?
The truth is, I didn’t follow an SOS-free diet because I believed it was the healthiest.
I followed it because it helped me lose weight.
And once the weight was gone, I stayed strict—not out of joy, but out of fear.
Fear that if I loosened up even a little… it would all come back.
And as Dr. Dean Ornish says:
“The fear of dying is not sustainable, but the joy of living is.”
I don’t know how long I have left.
But I do know this:
I’m enjoying my life so much more now that I’ve loosened the reins.
I still eat better than probably 90% of Americans—or what Dr. Doug Lisle might call a “low A.”
And honestly?
Eating a weekly nut burger (yes, with salt, cooked on a grill that had oil) from Sunflower Drive-In at the park with my pups—and dear friends Lee and Paula—does more for my well-being than trying to choke down steamed kale.
(Did I mention I hate kale? 🥬😂)
I recently met with one of the top genetics experts in the United States, and our conversation was eye-opening.
In my January biopsies, several genetic markers were identified.
I was encouraged to pursue further testing—not just for me, but for my nieces and nephews.
As someone of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, this may help explain why my brother died of pancreatic cancer, why a cousin had early breast cancer… and why I may now be at risk for other cancers.
I asked her about a phrase often repeated in our community:
“Genetics loads the gun, but diet and lifestyle pull the trigger.”
She told me that while that may apply to certain GI cancers specifically, it is not the case with lung cancer.
She emphasized that diet still matters, and avoiding alcohol is important.
But at least 20% of cancers have no known cause.
And mine appears to be in that category.
I do not have lung cancer caused by smoking or poor diet.
And diet alone will not cure me.
The reality is this:
Genetics can matter far more than lifestyle in determining disease risk than many in our community are willing to acknowledge.
As cancer previvor Dr. Simran Malhotra beautifully said:
“A plant-based lifestyle is like wearing a seatbelt. It’s important—but even with a seatbelt, you can still get into a serious accident.”
I still wear my seatbelt.
But now… I also open the sunroof and feel the wind in my hair.
And just in case we needed a little reminder…
Dr. Dysinger’s words freed me.
They were a wake-up call that chasing “perfect” living can waste precious time.
And I don’t know about you…
but I don’t want my last meal to be steamed kale.
Which is why, after nearly 20 years, I changed my email signature from
Love & Kale to With Love & Laughter.
As Pulitzer Prize-winning author Anna Quindlen wrote:
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
From this moment on, I choose authenticity over perfectionism.
Will you join me?
Love & Acceptance,
Chef AJ
🐾 🦴 From the Puppy Files
Shiloh and Trixie have never thought to embrace perfection, instead they embody it.
