October 27, 2025
Hi Friends,
I wish I had some good news for you today, but this hasn’t been one of my better weeks. I spent three days bedridden with excruciating pain down my right leg—from hip to ankle. I’m in a boot now, but I still can’t get around very well or drive.
And they call these the Golden Years. 🤣
I don’t have a definitive diagnosis yet, but I’m being seen at a pain management clinic tomorrow. I’m not looking for drugs, but if an anesthesia-free, minimally invasive procedure can calm this down, I’m open. I strongly suspect that the sudden development of all these conditions—pancreatitis, exocrine pancreatic insufficiency, costochondritis, and now hip bursitis with peroneal tendonitis—are immune-related side effects of Keytruda. And here’s the cherry on the sundae – I now have sleep apnea too!
Immunotherapy revs up the immune system to fight cancer, and in sensitive bodies like mine, that can mean inflammation in organs and joints. My oncologist will rarely say Keytruda “caused” it—only that it’s possible—but the medical literature agrees it can happen.
I felt great during the three months off treatment, which tells me my sensitive body may not be able to tolerate these powerful drugs—even at appropriate doses.
So what do I do? I can’t keep living like this—unable to walk my dog. My morning walk with Charles and Shiloh is my greatest joy. Without being able to exercise, my appetite is poor and I’m losing more weight, which I really can’t afford.
I’m struggling with whether it’s time to stop treatment entirely or try a few more rounds. From the moment I was diagnosed I said “the quality of my life is more important to me than the length,” and right now the quality isn’t great. I don’t want to sadden you—my intention is to be honest, as I always am in these weekly updates.
Even with the pain, I’ve still been showing up—for my community, my live shows, and my three weekly improv classes.
My CT on October 17 indicates the tumor has grown since August 15. My Stanford oncologist wants to review the disc himself—sometimes reports vary because of the margin of error in measurements. Still, it’s unsettling. If it really has grown, there may be no reason to continue this particular treatment.
As long as I’m Stage 3, surgery (complete lobectomy), chemotherapy, and radiation remain options. The doctors always wanted to do all three. But if I can barely tolerate the gentlest option—immunotherapy—how could I handle stronger treatments in my current state? And just shrinking or removing the tumor doesn’t mean I I would be cancer-free because it was already found in my blood a year before the biopsy.
Frankly, I’m exhausted. And the chronic diarrhea and bloating, bruising and pain, just make everything harder.
Walking away from treatment isn’t an easy decision. I am really not ready to die—but it’s hard being so sick all the time. I’m considering doing a live show with my dear friend, Dr. Matt Lederman, to help me think it through—but first I need to get out of this pain so I can be back on my feet again. Being sidelined from my daily walks and spin has me a bit down. I knew exercise was important; I just didn’t realize how much until I couldn’t do it. If you have a recommendation for a truly excellent oncology-savvy mental health professional, I’m all ears.
On a happy note (because Lord knows we need one)…
Our dear friends, Lissa & Nate of Raw Food Romance, visited for the weekend! On Friday, Chef extraordinaire Angelique Miller—who once owned the legendary vegan restaurant Zest—cooked us a farewell dinner before returning to Portugal.
We always have the best time when the “kids” visit and are grateful they still like hanging out with a couple of old fogies. 😂 They even popped into the Chef AJ & Friends Community to show off their improv skills.
On Saturday, we hosted our monthly game party and Lissa made her incredible raw tostadas.
You can grab her recipes here.
Thanks for listening and for caring.
With love and gratitude,
Love & Kale, Chef AJ.