Hi Friends,
I was just sprung from the hospital, so this week there’ll only be a quick update—and sorry, no PUPdates. 🐶
For those of you who, like me, would rather watch or listen than read, I did two livestreams from the hospital explaining why I was there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_662CmA9rg
All I can tell you is that I am NOT suited for institutions with a lot of rules and confinement. The military. Prison. And, apparently, hospitals.
It really did feel like I was incarcerated.
Most of my usual freedoms—like peeing or walking whenever I wanted to—were suddenly gone. Because I was on a telemetry unit and hooked up to a heart monitor, I couldn’t even get out of bed without permission.
I’m not sure how hospitals expect people to get well when they don’t let you sleep! Every hour somebody needs something from you, and apparently they wake you up several times during the night just to make sure you’re still alive. 😆
And I had a roommate who literally screamed for TEN HOURS.
I’m pretty sure that wasn’t covered by Medicare as entertainment. 😂
And don’t even get me started on my EIGHT-HOUR adventure in the emergency room before I was finally admitted. 😡
I will say this, though: the food was surprisingly good! I was able to order vegan, gluten-free and oil-free food—and as much as I wanted.
So why was I there?
I was admitted with a very high heart rate, a very high fever, terrible neck pain, and I couldn’t even swallow water.
And this was a different kind of pain in the neck than usual—because normally I’M the pain in the neck. 😂
It turns out I had sepsis and cellulitis in my neck. I was treated with massive doses of broad-spectrum IV antibiotics and steroids, which I’m still taking at home.
Until I receive the biopsy results, I really can’t tell you much more than that.
The steroids have left me in the strangest state: completely wired and completely tired at the same time. 😜 Apparently, my body would like to run a marathon while simultaneously taking a nap.
As it turns out, getting discharged from the hospital doesn’t mean I’m actually free. My discharge orders say I now need to see an oncologist, hematologist, endocrinologist, ENT doctor—and, at this point, I’m expecting a parole officer. I’ve spent years trying to see FEWER doctors, not collect the entire set!
I’m also getting iron infusions now, because apparently I wasn’t spending enough time in medical facilities. At this rate, I should just have my mail forwarded to Eisenhower. 😂
Unfortunately, the steroids have also delayed my PET scan, which we hope will give us more information about my lung cancer staging and the suspicious area on my rib that needs to be evaluated for possible bone metastasis.
So I may not have those answers until November.
And you know how much I LOVE waiting. 😂
But until then, I’m going to keep on keeping on and living my best life.
I’m taking as many comedy classes as I can.
I’m taking as many art classes as I can.
And I’m eating as much vanilla vegan ice cream as I can.
Clearly, I believe in a very comprehensive treatment plan. 😂
As a matter of fact, the very first thing we did after I was sprung from the hospital was go to Chef Tanya’s Creamery for some Million Dollar Vanilla oat milk ice cream.
And naturally, I had to make it healthy by covering it with double brown-sugar caramel sauce, pistachios, vegan marshmallows, whipped cream, and rainbow sprinkles. 😂
Actually, I think I may like the toppings even more than the ice cream.
Because that’s just how I roll.
I don’t have all the answers right now. And as much as I’d like to have them, I’m not going to put my life on hold while I wait for them.
There are still jokes to tell, pictures to paint, puppies to love, and as it turns out, a LOT of toppings to eat.
And right now, I am simply very, very grateful to be home.
There really is no place like it. ❤️
Love & Unlimited Toppings,
AJ ❤️🍨